JamesSlusher.com » humor

Large Hadron Collider

James — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 13:29:43 +0000

I wish Physics was cool twenty years ago. Or rather, I wish I had known how cool it is.

Sock and Awe

James — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 19:44:53 +0000

Knew Him Well

James — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 12:10:47 +0000

When we sold the old house we left all of our appliances in it. They were perfectly fitted for the kitchen they were in and a tad undersized for what we wanted in the future, so we sold them with the house. this, of course, means we need new appliances in the new house. I buy all of my appliances from Appliance Land, where my late father used to work. Whenever I go, I get the obligatory “we still miss your Dad” speech from everyone.

Our appliances for the new house arrived yesterday and the delivery guy (I forget his name, sorry) starts to unload the truck.

“We still miss your Dad out there”, he tells me.

Searching for something witty to say, the best I can come up with is, “I miss him, too. I sure could use some help around here”. I waved vaguely at the pile of demolition debris behind me.

He levels a gaze at me. ”Well, I don’t know how much actual physical help you would have gotten from your Dad…”.

“Dang dude, you knew him pretty good,” we both laughed.

Powder

James — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 16:21:15 +0000

This is actually designed for monkeys and not chickens, but it might help diaperchickenitis.

Old Adage

James — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 22:14:47 +0000

I live by the old adage: If at first you don’t close, cry, cry and then go play poker.

Talking

James — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 14:47:21 +0000

Jonathan has been slow to talk. We haven’t determined yet what is causing his speech delays, but his hearing has been tested a number of times and it’s just fine. So in the absence of knowing what the delay is (it could just be him taking his time), we work at getting him to say words.

Whenever he wants some juice, I make him say “Juice!”. If he wants to be picked up, I make him say “up”. Emily helps us all the time with this. This morning she was giving Jonathan a good grilling. Say “Daddy”, say “Mommy”, say “Emily” and on and on. It got to the point the rest of us were starting to roll our eyes. At one point, I piped up and and said, “Say diverticulitis“.

Emily stopped immediately and got a somewhat cross look on her face.

“Daddy, Jonathan can’t say diaperchickenitis. That’s silly.”

She’s right. Diaperchickenitis is silly. If she thinks her old man isn’t going to work “diaperchickenitis” into every conversation he has over the next week or two, she doesn’t know me very well.

Palin Is Smart

James — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 03:39:14 +0000

I’ve heard a number of people, myself included, accuse Sarah Palin of being dumber than bag of hammers. I decided to rescind that opinion based on one headline:

Palin pre-empts state report, clears self in probe

That proves she’s smart, because only an idiot would’ve found herself guilty. She found herself innocent. Genius!

Debate Prep

James — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:24:06 +0000

Funny:

Debatable

James — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 00:52:18 +0000

I’m a little disappointed that John McCain decided to show up for the Presidential debate. I was looking forward to watching Obama debate an empty chair. I’m sure the chair would have just sat there, but it is better than watching McCain lie there.

Pathetic

James — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 01:55:00 +0000

I recently read some stuff written by Michelle Malkin.� Nasty stuff.� Hateful stuff.� I won’t even link to it because the only reason she isn’t denounced as a hateful racist is that she is, you know, like not white.

Which brings me to a different point altogether.� Am I the only person who thinks it odd that the de facto spokesman for white supremacists in America is a Filipino woman? The daughter of immigrants no less.

Wow.� Maybe women, minorities and immigrants really are taking ALL the jobs.